Warrior Blog | Mindy

"First comes love, then comes marriage, then comes the baby in the baby carriage" 

At lease that is how it is supposed to be right? Most of the questions you get as a married couple are "When are you having that baby?" "You still don't have children?" or my all time favorite is "What are you waiting on?". These questions come from family, friends, and even strangers. After five years of trying we just told people " We don't want any children". Then I started answering " When God decides, that's when we will have kids". Most of the time after that answer people will say "Oh just relax" or " it will happen when you least expect it". Talk about an eye roller. If I had a dollar for every time I have heard one of the questions or answers I could buy a million babies. At my age there is alwasy one of my friends or family members having a baby, and that is one of the most heartbreaking things I have to face. Its not that I am not happy for them, it's just I am sad for me. Is it ever going to happen to me? Will I ever become a mom? This is something I have longed for since I was a little girl. Then two years ago we thought our dreams came true. Finally I peed on a test and and two lines popped up! I was so excited and my husband was even more excited. We told our whole family, I even had a facebook announcement picked out. I made my doctors appointment, I got some blood work done, and just like that there was no more baby. The doctors could'nt explain a thing to us. They could'nt  tell me why or how, or if I would ever be able to have a baby I could actually hold in my arms. So one year ago we decided to loose weight. 86 pounds down and I thought "YES this is my time". About ten months ago we started seeing a doctor to help us have a sweet baby. He has so much hope for us, and still nothing. Now let me tell you if my marriage can survive through fertility drugs it can make it through anything. Some days I am so hormonal I don't even want to be around me. One of the hardest things knowing how amazing my husband will be as a father. I pray every day for a happy and healthy baby to love and care for. One day just one day I know it will be our time. My granny said to me one day here recently " you don't have children yet because all these other kids have needed you". That is something I have tried to live by since I heard her say it. I know she is just trying to make me feel better. Maybe my nieces and nephews that I help take care of needed my full attention, and with a child of my own they wouldn't get that. I know God has a plan for us and for our child that we have waited so long for. It's like waiting for something for so long and you finally get it so you take extra special care of it. That is what our baby is going to be to us. 

So to our special future baby: We are praying for you and waiting patiently ( or trying to) for you. We don't know your name, or what you will look like (Hopefully like your dad) but we are waiting for you forever and always waiting on Gods plan. Our story is not over yet so don't give up on us.